I’ve got an answer that works, but first here’s a quick story…

“Tom” was pretty sure he was failing. he just didn’t know why. His wife made it clear that he needed to “shape up or ship out.” She had had enough. No more empty promises to change. No more sudden interest in doing housework, watching the kids, or showing interest… only to either start complaining about it or just fail to follow through.

To be honest, it wasn’t about the division of labor that spiraled into the repeated conflicts. Tom’s wife simply said, “you don’t have a clue what it means to be a husband, much less a good one!”

Ouch!

In my office, Tom shared that he never had a good model for being a husband. His dad worked all the time, and was pretty grumpy when he was at home. Other friends seemed to work hard to see just how little they could do, and still get away with it.

One day, Tom admitted that before he got married, he was scared. Not that he was marrying the wrong person — he loved (and loves) his wife. No, the fear was about failing as a husband. He didn’t want to do that! But here he was, hearing yet again from his wife, that he was failing as a husband.

Tom asked, “Can you help me out? can you tell me the secret to being a better husband?”

“Tom,” I said, “I think we can aim a little higher. How about if I tell you how to be an Awesome Husband?”

That seemed to get his attention.

To be fair, I am not a perfect husband. nobody is. But i do work hard to learn from my mistakes, to get better every day, and to hit the right targets.

That really is the key here. The right targets.

Most men want to be great husbands… even awesome ones! But they don’t really know what that would mean. So, they start trying things. They are hoping to hit the right thing. But if you don’t know what the target is, just randomly shooting isn’t likely to get you there. And if you do accidentally hit something that matters, you may not know it. Instead, you just keep on flailing, looking for the answer.

And all the while, you are losing ground. your marriage continues to edge (or slide) downward. Your spouse grows more resentful and frustrated.

Those are the ones that break my heart. If a man doesn’t care anymore, and just gives up, there isn’t much i can do… because they aren’t going to do anything. That’s sad, for sure.

But when someone wants to do better, to be better, but keeps on failing — mainly for lack of understanding — that one is tough to watch.

Which led me to create this little ebook on how to be an Awesome Husband.

It is the same approach I have used with many clients over the years, letting them finally escape the frustration and heartbreak of wanting to do better, taking action that didn’t matter, and feeling the relationship slip away.

Let’s do it differently here. Let’s get your marriage turned around. Let me show you the right targets, the right approach. let me help you make a difference, as a husband, that will make a difference in your marriage.