From: The desk of Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Dear Devoted Husband,
If you suffer from a disconnected marriage… if your spouse is frustrated and angry over the state of your relationship… if you know your marriage is in trouble, but you have no idea what to do about it… then this message is just for you.
Here’s why…
You made a pledge to be married, through thick and thin, and you love your spouse, but you don’t always know what to do… you don’t know how to be married. (You might not even be sure what marriage is really about.)
What you need is a Field Guide to Marriage. Something that “pulls back the curtains” and reveals the secrets to a successful, warm, loving marriage.
There is a way to repair your marriage and turn it around, to get back the loving harmonious marriage and get back the love and connection that you once had.
DISCOVER THE 7 SIMPLE COMMITMENTS THAT CAN TURN YOUR MARRIAGE AROUND.
You need to realize, there is a cost to not dealing with this…
What most people do when facing fractured or failing marriage is promise to make changes (without knowing what changes to make), go to therapy (even if therapy only brings up more pain and no resolution), and/or complicate the situation (with unproven tips and hacks they find on the internet). But for most people, none of that works.
- The distance only grows
- The frustration takes over more and more of your interactions.
- The fights keep ending with no solution but even more hurt.
And what happens if you just do nothing?
If you just keep doing what you’ve been doing?
Your marriage will continue to struggle. It will continue to decline.
Your spouse will continue to question why you should even be married. And then, your marriage will collapse into divorce or total disconnection.
I’ve got an answer that works. One that restores a marriage back to love and connection.
Here’s a little secret: I am actually a “recovering” marriage therapist.
I went to school for a LONG time (2 Masters and a Ph.D.) to be a marriage therapist. But I was a bit… ummm… surprised… that marriage therapy was proving so unhelpful for my clients. Until I did a little research (well, actually, A LOT!), and pulled back the curtains. The studies have always shown this. Therapists and the public have just looked the other way!)
Marriage therapy is ineffective (for the most part — there are some gifted therapists, and it does help sometimes). 50% of people going to therapy still divorce. And only 10 to 15% report any help.
But I was still convinced that many hurting marriages COULD be helped. They WANTED and NEEDED that help! So I decided to start experimenting and studying. I wanted to find out what helps.
And I did just that. I created an approach that WAS helpful and effective for even the most troubled marriages.
Along the way, though, I also discovered that there was a root issue that made most marriages start out on a limp… already headed for trouble.
Here is what I found:
MANY PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED DO NOT GET MARRIAGE.
They don’t understand what marriage really is about (even if they think they do), and IF they discover it at all, on their own, their relationship is often damaged by then.
And for men, the rate of confusion is even higher. Most men told me they didn’t “get” what marriage was about, what their spouse needed, and why it was so hard to make it work. They felt lost.
So, I took to explaining what marriage REALLY is about. And guess what? MANY times, knowing this was enough to turn things around! The endless cycle of struggles and conflict ended. The countless moments of a frustrated spouse suddenly evaporated. Many marriages transformed just because the true nature of marriage was understood.
Nobody wants to have a bad marriage. But many don’t know how to avoid it. UNTIL they understand the truth about marriage.
So, I decided to create a very simple, very direct, audio course to help people quickly understand what marriage is about. And more importantly, what to do and where to focus, in order to turn things around.
Since you are “in the wild,” trying to figure this out, you need a Field Guide to Marriage.
And here it is!
- Unlock conflicts and finding peace.
- Understand your spouse and loving your spouse.
- Discover lasting warmth and connection.
Lesson 1: LEAD in your relationship. No, this is not about you stepping over, but being willing to step up. On a team, nobody benefits when everyone is waiting for someone to work toward the win. Leading by serving is the key here. You that requires a clear goal, a clear approach, and a clear desire to do it as a team.
Lesson 2: LINKING is all about building a connection with your spouse. It is all about making sure the “Life Blood” of your relationship is circulating. That is connection.
Lesson 3: LISTEN is the commitment. This is all about being receptive to your spouse’s communication (verbal and non-verbal). Notice that the commitment is NOT “speak.” It is to listen.
Lesson 4: LOVE is not about whether you feel passion or not. Passion is only one level or element of love and being loving. Love is both action and feeling. But you must choose a path of LOVE.
Lesson 5: To LEARN is to stay in Growth Mode, expanding your own capacity… along with learning more about your spouse AND your relationship.
Lesson 6: To be LIGHT is both in your mood/demeanor, and illuminating a direction. Be light in yourself and how you face life. Be a light, shining to where your marriage, your relationship, and your future can be.
Lesson 7: A marriage should be built to LAST. And the belief that it is built to last changes how you approach the relationship.
I just told you the 7 “secrets” (or commitments) you need.
Maybe that is all you needed. But perhaps you need help on each of those.
So now you have a choice:
Do what you’ve been doing (or worse, do nothing at all).
You know where that will lead. Is that really where you want to go?
Or, take a new action, and get a new result.
Finally, get the love you BOTH want.
Which do you really want for yourself?
If you are ready for a change (for the better), here’s what to do now…
Every man must face them. But most men don’t know they are coming. These four moments are pivotal. But they don’t need to trip you up! Knowing they are coming is a great start. What you really need, though, is some preparation for responding. How will you face those moments? I tell you about the four moments that every man must face, and walk you through how to respond to each one.
FREE BONUS #5
Are you thriving? Most people aren’t, but don’t know how to get there. But if you aren’t thriving, it is much harder to have a thriving relationship. So, we need to help you shift, using my Thrive System. There are two major components to the System. One helps you build your Thrive Plan. The other helps you implement it as a daily habit. I’ll provide both to you, along with training, so you can implement the Thrive System into your daily life, quickly and easily.
“Thanks to your system…
l’m glad to inform you that my marriage has come completely back from the dead, I was served with divorce papers on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and yesterday afternoon my lovely wife of 17 years vacated the entire divorce proceedings. I have much more work to do with my marriage but thank you again.” – Daryl”
“An invaluable resource…
Looking back to when I was “cutting and pasting” advise from a variety of sources (counsellors, pastors, friends etc) I can see that much of what they were saying was consistent with your advice but it just wasn’t structured or organized. That lack of a clear and concise plan made it challenging to stay on task and focus in an orderly fashion on the things I need to do every day to build healthy habits and restore our marriage. While there is still a lot of work to be done to save my marriage I believe that this is a powerful resource in doing so. Thank you and keep up the good work.” — Donald
“My wife had a mid life crisis…
I purchased your books and read all of it when she told me about the affair in April 2019. I did everything you said to do in your book and it worked. We still have a lot of work to do but we are back to “us”. I know I can trust her and she is now willing to do what ever it takes to fix things. We are happier now than we have ever been. We have been married for 20 years and we have a connection now that we never had before.” – Jeremy
You have a choice to make: do what you’ve been doing (or worse, do nothing at all). You know where that will lead. Is that really where you want to go? Take a new action, and get a new result. Finally, be the husband you want to be, know you can be, and are ready to be.
Which do you really want for yourself?
- The FULL Field Guide Training Program (Value $297)
- FREE BONUS #1: Field Guide Daily Guide Sheets (Value $47)
- FREE BONUS #2: The Awesome Husband eBook (Value $27)
- FREE BONUS #3: Awesome Change Mini-Course (Value $97)
- FREE BONUS #4: 4 Moments Every Man Must Face (Value $27)
- FREE BONUS #5: The Thrive System (Value $197)
And you are 100% safe to try this out. That’s all I’m suggesting. Just try it for 30 days to see if it works for you. If it does, you’ll be delighted – and I think that’s exactly what’s about to happen. If for some reason you’re not delighted with the man you are becoming, that Awesome Husband, then just let me know – and you get all your money back.
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